Ahhh

Feeling v annoying the past 48 hours lol also imma need a new place to journal if this site gets the boot.

Not me drunk af coming out to my cousins :) im happy abt it but also i like jesus fiuck

Hehe ad but like slemtimes wish it wasnt connected to another girl like that somehow vaildtes me

i feel so bad for being such a piece of shit. could throw up

Ugh that was just very much not cool of me. I try to make people comfortable during sex and i did the opposite and im sick thinking about it. I just need to learn to keep my mouth shut i feel like an ass and really bad she had to sleep next to me after i said those things. Ugggggghh

It sucks to get broken up with gollleeeeyyy

At least we werent serious just shared a few hot dogs nothing more. And sex wasnt super great which is fine and i feel bAD SO BAD to be mean during sex like no body deserves that. What a fucked up fucking week AND I LOST MY KNOFE TO HANG OUT WITH HER ughhhh a sacrifice for romance i just cannot win

Yall omfg i did not pass the vibe check

Im learning and getting comfortable in this city. Opening up to my coworkers and trying things and socializing. Its tiring but its exciting

Im just sad now because i fucked up. My fault. And i hurt her feelings. Maybe becuase with makenna i also hurt her and i was hurting and it was just so unhealthy and draining. Im glad maya knew what she was looking for but i wish she talked to me a bit better about it. But she doesnt owe me anything if anything i owe her apologies which i will do

Idk how it ever would have worked anyway. I just feel sad right now and stupid mostly stupid.

Im back because i feel feelings

So i met a girl in chicago shes really cool and smart and funny. However she is poly and has a bf. Which is find but also a bit difficult however I thought i was doing alright.

She broke up with me :’(

Idk other than makenna and me if anyone else has broken up with me and hurt my feelings. A little bit with ariana but i think i was just looking for something and im glad she had boundaries because i should have

Anyway i fucked up by making shitty comments during sex which is a horrible time to do that because you’re vulnerable and i feel so bad that i hurt her feelings. I liked her and shouldnt have said things about her previous partners. I really wish we could just be friends because i liked hanging out with her and i didnt really want to date. I much wouldve preferred being friends.

Im journaling on this app until it bans me

doradotcom:

walks around the dashboard with my hands behind my back like someone’s grandpa

This is the nicest break up text ive ever gotten. My heart is full

“

I’m glad this is ending on a good note too. Honestly I don’t have it in me to be upset or mad at you ever. As much as I would’ve loved for you to come to Atlanta im really glad you’re going to be in Chicago(you’ll have all the seasons and you’ll probably be drowning in pussy). I was also talking to my sister about you and she was telling me how happy she was that I met you bc you showed me how I should be treated and being with someone doesn’t have to be stressful. She’s right and you were the best relationship/situationship to ever happen to me. You were so sweet and thoughtful everytime I came to visit you and I wouldn’t have wanted to spend almost every holiday together since we met with anyone else. Feel free to keep adding music to the playlist(if you’d like) and we can keep our streak also (if you’d like). I hope you’re happy and life treats you well bc you deserve it

“

Damn sometimes i hate being different like i really really just want to fit in and be like everyone else share a commonality so im seen by someone who can see

Ugh i think the tough part right now is my heritage like me and mine bc im asian but im not but im american but im not and im too white but too asian its fucking SUCKS i dont have a comfortable place or a home … im alone :/ and everyone gets it but they dont it just sucks i dont have a group like i do but its idk i just hate being these things just to fit